3 more weeks until the competition–Yikes!!
I have some good news from this week. After an exhausting Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday (where I didn’t even think it would be safe to drive to practice 😦 ), at about 5 pm on Thursday I suddenly had a complete turn-around and burst of energy which has continued into today.
This turn-around and other symptoms make me strongly suspect that the extreme fatigue, mind fuzziness, difficulty thinking, etc. is actually hormone related. Looking back, the last time I felt that bad was about 4 weeks ago. It could be a sign that despite the chemopause and hormone therapy, my body is still trying to be cyclical. I have noted on my calendar what happened and when, and I am going to see if it happens again in about 4 weeks. Interestingly, it was the appearance of the full moon that triggered to me that perhaps this is cyclical, and not just a random occurrence, as I remember feeling ‘off’ the last time the moon was almost full. If I didn’t know better, I would almost think I had a bout of extreme PMS.
That aside, preparations for the competition are continuing. All the routines are choreographed now, and this week Boss and I spent time running through them and getting them to a point where I can do them mostly from start to finish in preparation for the competitive run-through practice on Sunday.
The latin routines, with the exception of a small piece near the end of the samba I need to remind myself about are in really good shape. I need to focus in a bit on my styling for them now and focus on working through them ‘all out’.
The standard routines are coming, but taking more work than the latin routines. Waltz is in the best place right now, with (shockingly) Quickstep just behind followed by tango and Foxtrot. I have the routines written out now, which seems to be key for me to memorize and understand them, and they are at a place where I should be able to get through them from top to bottom without too much incident.
The biggest thing the standard routines need right now is confidence. When I get to a part I am not too sure of, I tend to tense up, and then my shoulders hunch, especially my right side. I also tend to start moving small and cautiously. Today, we had some spots where I felt confident enough to really ‘let out the gas’, and it is pretty interesting when I do. My goal is to get to that point through all the routines and hold nothing back. Boss is working on encouraging me to use my power in standard (while still being controlled), and helping me to really realize what I am capable of. The more we run through the routines the more I realize how cautious I am normally and how much I hold back, but at the same time, each time I allow myself to really go for it, it is a victory.
I think one of the most challenging things I will encounter at this competition is to keep myself in check and to not ‘overdo’ it by pushing beyond what I can control. It’s a fine line. I need to be confident in my movement, but I also need to be able to keep the confidence within the realm of what I can control.
Boss told me 2 weeks ago that he had been reviewing our previous competition videos and that he found it really interesting. When I asked him why it was interesting, he said he was really looking forward to seeing what will happen once I am in full power and control and at my ‘top form’. Of the videos from my last 3 competitions, I wasn’t completely 100% for any of them, due to illness or injury.
The entry list for the competition I am doing is out and I was pleasantly surprised to see that in latin I will be against 3 other competitors in most of my single dances, and will have competition in both of my multi-dances. That is really encouraging and awesome for this competition, considering last year I was alone. Great growth and kudos to the organizers for that. In standard I am alone, except possibly in my multi-dance, which takes a little bit of pressure off it. It’s been quite some time since I have had competition, and it does make me a little nervous as all the students I am against are people who I have neither danced with nor seen previously, but it is exciting nonetheless.
Despite the nervousness, I am just trying to remind myself that the goal of this competition is simply to get the routines on the floor. If I can do that, mission accomplished! It’s great though to be excited about a competition, as it’s been a while since I have been.
We didn’t work on the solo this week, but we are supposed to do that on Monday. I know that the practice on Sunday will certainly highlight the areas that still need some work, and that will likely set the stage for the preparations over the next 3 weeks.
On a different front, my dresses are coming along really well! I have a fitting tomorrow, and following that they should be at the stage where the stoning will start, to really get them towards the final product. The third dress should be started as well (the smooth dress), and I am excited to see all three! I am also having a skirt made for my solo, so I am hoping there is a little bit of progress on that too as I think it will be useful to practice with it as soon as I can (no pressure to my awesome dressmaker!!).
So along with a debut of new open silver routines, I am also going to be debuting two new dresses, a new solo routine with a new skirt. Lots of exciting things happening!
I am nervous for the rehearsal on Sunday. It’s been more than a year since I have done any of these practices and I am not entirely sure I have the endurance to be up to the challenge. I am going to try my best though! I was joking with Boss tonight that my goal for Sunday is to get through everything without falling down–although I think I was more than half serious! His goal is for me to do things ‘compact’ the first round and then to ‘open up the gas’ for the second one. Interesting how we have different perspectives :). We will see who has the best predictions.
It’s been a while since I have been in full ‘competition prep mode’ and I am finding the change refreshing. I think even seeing that I have actual competition in some of my heats has helped to motivate me some. Lots to do, but I think for the goals I hope to achieve with this competition, I am in a good place.
By the way–tomorrow is my one year anniversary for my last radiation treatment!