I have had a few days to reflect and catch up after the competition, so now I am going to write down some of my thoughts.
The Girl With the Tree Tattoo recently wrote a post about ‘Post Comp Blues‘ which is really relevant as I also go through my own version of this after an event.
This time it’s a little different because of all the issues and challenges I faced leading up to the event, but certainly my thoughts are quite reflective and introspective.
I had a ‘post-comp’ lesson with Boss yesterday where we took the time to have a look at the videos from the competition, discuss how it went and what the next steps should be. It was a really good talk and helped to bring some focus into things. He and I were pretty much on the same page with what we noticed–my legs were much more consistently straighter and I am more grounded than previously, there is some upper body movement, but there needs to be more, and you can see where I was running out of steam as each dance progressed. He also noted that even though we didn’t really place (nor did I expect to competing against open-level competitors with my silver routines), we did really win the audience. Several people made a point of saying how much they enjoyed watching us dance.
One of my goals for this competition was to focus on working and connecting with Boss throughout the routines and to increase my expressiveness. That was something that went really really well throughout the entire competition and Boss even remarked before the evening session that we were really working well together on the floor. I am taking a victory for that.
It’s hard to know what to think about this competition knowing all the challenges I was facing for it. I also didn’t compete against anyone at my own level, so really right now I have no idea where I would stand if I were to compete against other silver-level dancers, but Boss thinks I would do really well.
There are small things to fix, of course. My armwork for the most part was really good, but here and there I would do something that was just not quite what I was looking for. I would still forget my right arm a little. My arm movements did look natural. Most of my footwork was precise, but there were some spots where it could have been much sharper. I need to work on my ‘flick’ when moving forward. I still have my leg speed when I need it.
Overall, I am very very glad I did this competition even though I came close to having to cancel. Even at the competition I had a strong war with myself before deciding to do the evening session. The competition gave me something to focus on and now I can look back and be proud to know that I did it.
I have 5 weeks until my surgery and it still seems unreal to me that it is going to happen. I am still feeling the effects of shingles. I am still experiencing the side-effects from radiation. I am exhausted.
Boss and I are going to perform my solo at a social dance this weekend for the dancers in my home town. I am looking forward to the performance, but honestly if I didn’t have a performance I wouldn’t be doing any lessons this week.
Next week, we are going to dive into the smooth routines and try to get them to a workable place before my surgery. That will be the focus for the 4 weeks leading up to it.
Boss talked a lot about my surgery and the effects it could have on my dancing. He also talked about some exercises and things he wants me to focus on while I am recovering since I won’t be able to be on the floor. I am, I guess, a little surprised he had put so much thought into it, because honestly I haven’t yet, but I am glad to know he is already thinking ahead and how he can support post-surgery. I just haven’t gotten there yet, so it is a little over-whelming to think and talk about.
Boss and I talked briefly about standard yesterday, as I had told him I was having doubts about it and asked him to wait until after the competition to talk about it. He had some encouraging things to say, but I need to give it more thought for myself before I think I will be really ready to discuss it with Boss. I don’t plan on making any decisions until after my surgery as there is no point, but it would be good to have the discussion now because perhaps there isn’t a decision to make. I know I missed standard watching the couples competing in it at the competition and most especially watching Boss compete with one of his other students and that is a big thing to take into consideration. I am sure I will have more to write about it in the near future.
I guess the main thing that is bothering me a little right now is that I am very much lacking motivation. I have a lesson tomorrow and part of me can’t imagine having the energy to do it. I have lessons next week, but I haven’t really gotten to the point of looking forward to them as I usually do. And I am looking forward to working on the smooth routines.
Mostly right now, I just want to sleep a lot. I only yesterday stopped taking the anti-viral medication every 4 hours so last night was the first night I was able to sleep without having to wake up to take them. I hope with some sleep I will ‘perk-up’.
More to follow.