Out of the blue my focus and concentration disappeared today and it hurts to think again.
Yesterday, I felt great. I was working on school, my head was clear, things were great.
This morning I felt a little fuzzy, but by this afternoon it was apparent the fog was back. Things switched that quick. I am doing First Aid Training for work and as the day went on I was struggling more and more to stay focused on what was being taught. It was to the point where I got to the end of one period and realized I had no idea what we just covered.
Needless to say, when we moved to the practical portion I was first to volunteer as a casualty to see what we were doing (it was slings and bandaging).
Good thing it’s a refresher course.
The struggle I was having was also really apparent less than 10 minutes into my lesson. We were working on the second half of the open samba routine and we had to keep repeating the first three steps because I couldn’t remember all 3 steps together. I either did one and two and blanked on three or did one, skipped two and tried to go to three.
It made for a frustrating lesson for me (Boss seemed less concerned). We went through the entire second half of the samba, but my retention, based on my practice….almost nothing.
It shouldn’t hurt to think through things that even yesterday were basic for me.
I stayed to practice because I really want to get back into being more consistent with it, but it was a struggle all the way through. Stuff that usually is no problem for me just seemed all over the place. And that was before I started trying to review my routines.
I got so frustrated I almost broke down in the hall. I had to keep stopping just to breathe a little and try to reset.
I got through it, but it was a bit disappointing how little progress I made in samba. Even stuff I had down cold yesterday was completely blank for me today and reading my notes was like trying to translate another language. Waltz went ok, but it’s probably the strongest (and shortest) section I have right now. Rumba was in between. I was still stuck on one step I had yesterday, but the others we worked out were mostly there.
As I mentioned, I start tracking these menopause symptoms to see if there is a pattern. According to my notes, it’s been almost exactly 5 weeks since the last time my brain became murky fog. That’s actually one week more than I expected. If there is a pattern, I can expect my head to clear in a week, but that my hot flashes will double in intensity and frequency next week and I will feel exhausted.
If there isn’t a pattern, then next week could be anything.
I have to also admit that the trigger could be stress as well. I returned to work on Monday into a stressful personnel issue that doesn’t appear to be resolving anytime soon. It was compounded by some other big changes in programming, problems with computer equipment and last minute being sent on First Aid so working from my BB between classes some.
I am also trying to get on top of two school assignments before heading overseas in two weeks for training, so some of the stress is a little self-imposed.
I just keep reminding myself the fog has never lasted more than a week and to give myself a break. If I still feel foggy tomorrow, I will ask Boss if it is possible to switch up what we are working on more often in my lesson instead of concentrating on one dance for an entire lesson. The changing seems to help a little because instead of trying to stay focused for 60 mins and absorb 60 mins on one dance, I am focused on smaller section of multiple dances. Somehow the volume is smaller overall that way.
Adapt and overcome, right?