No, unfortunately it is not a joke.
I haven’t posted much lately because I have been trying to work through a difficult situation, that is outside my control.
About a week ago, for a number of reasons personal to him, Boss told me he is no longer able to support my competitive goals.
We can still work together and I can still do lessons, but he does not know when or if he will be able to compete again, but it definitely won’t be for quite a long time.
So I am stuck. I have a fabulous instructor I work and progress well with, but with whom I can’t compete.
So what can I do?
My biggest motivation for dance is competing. It gives me something to work for. The routines I learn, I learn so I can compete. I focus on technique so my dancing can be stronger on the floor. I am so goal oriented, I don’t know how to adjust with competitions of the table.
And there aren’t any 10-dance pro/am teachers in the town where I live. My options seem to be commuting to the mainland or the US. That has financial implications, not to mention trying to cram a week’s or two week’s worth of lessons into a weekend–something my body won’t tolerate for long, especially working full-time between those weekend. Flying or having an instructor commute here would have similar difficulties.
I just don’t even know where to begin to adjust to this. Do I work with Boss and compete with another pro? That seems like another nightmare for me.
An amateur partner still remains an impossible dream.
I obviously need to switch gears, but I don’t know where to start. I either need to fix my goals, hope work decides to relocate me (not likely), or try to find a remote instructor.
I think the worst thing about commuting is that is would frustrate me very quickly and that would lead me to stop dancing in itself.
The worse thing about this is that after the biopsy was clear I felt I had finally got all my ducks in a row and could focus on dance the way I had been hoping since I got sick. I really should have known better. Nothing is ever that simple for me. I have to fight for everything.
So, if you know a possible instructor who does 10-dance and can handle a commute or commuting student, let me know. Will also welcome any alternative suggestions for goals besides competing.
I’ll just be here spinning my wheels trying to figure out if I am done dancing until I can relocate.