I am not sure why I feel so frustrated with my latin technique tonight.
I do have a theory that perhaps it is just the late hour of the class (8 pm is late for me these days), coupled with an extremely busy week at work (it’s not over yet!). The end result being that I feel like I couldn’t do anything right tonight during the class–even though I know that is not the case. Its almost like a mini ‘crash’ after the class.
Usually I feel pretty good about my latin technique. While there are some things I struggle with a lot, there are others that come more naturally and no matter what I do, my hips definitely move. The adjustment I have been making to my posture is becoming more ‘mainstream’ but I have to stay on top of it. I am at the point where I ask myself if I am forward and discover that yes, I am.
Tonight in general I think I was just having endurance issues. It’s hard to explain but I felt like everything just lacked in strength compared to how it usually feels, and my body just wasn’t as responsive as usual. It wasn’t a lack of trying, but it just seemed to be ‘off’.
I think because of that, the things that usually frustrated me just ran a bit rampant. By the end of the class my frustration level just seemed exceptionally high.
One thing that is just a constant source of frustration for me is jive. I have mentioned before it is like my latin achilles heel dance, as it is the one dance where on the one hand things work out well naturally, but on the other I really have no idea how I do any of it. And there there are some things which I have no idea how to do and quite honestly it looks ridiculous when I try. I think I am getting in my own way by trying so hard I am actually preventing my body from moving in the way it needs to. That’s said, it feels like everything I am doing in jive is really ‘loosey goosey’, when it should be more tight and compact (because of the speed).
Some time jive just feels like the dance I never work on. The little bit of technique I have done in jive has been a little ‘here’ and ‘there’ and very spread out. I have never concentrated on it–even at a basic level.
To be perfectly honest, my frustration and feeling of lacking in jive really makes me reluctant to do it right now. I feel that compared with the amount of time and work I have spent on the other 4 dances my jive is woefully behind.
I am hoping this is just the result of a long week and fatigue and that it will pass in time.
The other thing that keeps popping in my mind is that I might not have the endurance for my medal test. I am feeling a little overwhelmed with the idea of doing 10 dances in a row because its been so long since I have actually done that. I guess I am not feeling really confident in my strength right now.
I get my injection tomorrow, and I hopeful that with it some of these frustrations will pass. I am also a bit stressed that I will have some mood swings following the injection as my body gets used to it again.
It’s hard to know what is real and what is just side effects right now.