Victory week

It was one of the most difficult weeks since I was diagnosed, but I made it through.

This week was non-stop for me.  But I knew going into it that it would be hard and that if I could get through it, then I am truly on the road to recovery.

Work was crazy busy and intense.  I ended up working late three nights this week, and the days were a lot of moving around, standing, advising and communicating, most of which was outside in the heat.  It was tiring, but also very rewarding.

On top of knowing it would be an intense week for work, I set a goal for myself to try to also get in as much dance and strength training as I could with my regular schedule.  I only missed one practice and one group class in the end, and that was entirely due to the late hour I was working.

Among other things, it was completely satisfying to keep up a non-stop pace all week and know that I could do it.  Even a month ago, I wouldn’t have been able to.

That is not to say that I am not tired, but for the first time, I found myself not anymore tired than I would have been doing the same thing before I got sick.  That in itself helped to reinforce the sense of normalcy I am slowly gaining in my life.

Dance tonight was really good.  We were working through some of my routines and adding the proper swing and sway to the standard dances.  One thing that was unexpected is that Boss decided to progress my Waltz ‘mini-sequence’ to start me working on a new line, which I didn’t expect.  To be honest, I thought of all my sequences waltz was one of the weakest, but Boss is the Boss, so I am moving on.

I am actually finding myself really enjoying standard again.  I can feel and see the progress I am making and after such a long time of not making any progress, it’s a huge difference and so positive.  I finally feel like I am dancing in the standard dances and not just moving through the steps like I did previously.  We are working a lot on the shaping and Boss is really encouraging me to work within the couple instead of trying to do things on my own.

It’s actually a huge adjustment for me. Before, I was very focused on trying to control all of my movements and to be careful not to overdo things and influence Boss, especially in standard.  Now, I am encouraged to move as much as possible (which usually takes some reminding) and to use Boss when we are in hold to make my own movements and shapes bigger.  I am still a little shy about it, but I am getting there.

Mostly, I can see the difference in how I feel when dancing.  I am enjoying it again and it is energizing me.  I am starting to feel powerful and strong again in my dancing and even just in general through my strength training.  I am regaining my confidence and drive.  I am moving through everything instead of just doing it to get it done.  I am looking forward to my next competition and want to put in some extra work to get my routines down.

While the momentum has been carried positively through this week, it really started last week.  Almost overnight, I went from feeling exhausted to feeling like myself with energy.  I think that I am finally adjusting to the hormone therapy and the fatigue side effects from that have dissipated.  I feel rejuvenated.

7 weeks until my first competition back, and compared to this time last year it is like night and day.  I am getting stronger every day.  My weight is finally starting to go down (instead of just my size).  My goals seem achievable.

This week was a huge victory, and a stepping stone in my overall cancer journey.



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