Well, I did it and got through it.
A full week of lessons and practice. And my lessons were pretty intense on the standard side. Only one hiccup, which I will write about at the end.
The best thing is that every practice I felt stronger and was able to do a little more, put a little more ‘oomph’ into it and push myself a little harder.
That’s not to say I am not tired, because definitely I am and there have been some early nights this week. But now I have the weekend to recover.
My lesson was focused on standard again, working on waltz natural turns and focusing on position.
Again, I kept running into the problem where Boss kept finding me being tentative and hesitant. It’s a bit of a new thing for him because I don’t think he has ever really had to tell me to move more and push harder before. For myself, I don’t really see any difference between what I was doing before and what I am doing now, so that is a little strange, but it seemed we are starting to sort through the issue. I am slowly gaining a little more confidence in what I am doing.
It’s a complete switch of the mind for me. Previously, I had to be careful not to push too hard, not to bring my weight too far forward and not to run Boss over. Now, it seems I can’t keep myself forward enough and I am not quite pushing through all my steps.
We did figure out that somewhere I stopped pushing through the ‘2’ to the ‘3’ and was using up all my energy on the first step. Once I remembered to adjust that, things got better.
At the end of the lesson, Boss decided to try running through a series of basic waltz steps to see what happens. Now THAT was really interesting. At first, he told me that he was having issues because he couldn’t feel me using CBM to move myself, so if I was doing it, he couldn’t tell. So, the second time we ran it, instead of doing what I thought was the right amount, I just decided to go and do as much as I could. Holy cow what a difference!
We only got to run things once, but it was night and day and gave me a pretty good idea of how much more I can do now, compared with what I could do before. Boss told me to stop worrying about my balance so much and that now I am able to move without influencing his position like I used to–and that is probably the biggest switch I have to get used to.
My head hasn’t completely figured out all that it needs to adjust to, or what is good or bad right now, but it is slowly coming. Trying to remove the block about being tentative is going to take some time, but I am slowly chipping away at that wall. I am getting a better understanding of when I am being tentative and what the difference is, so that is a start.
I am looking forward to next week and hope I continue to get stronger.
The one hiccup from this week–last night as I was going to bed I noticed that suddenly my belly started feeling ‘full’ again. I had hoped it was a fluke, but unfortunately not. The seroma is back and my belly feels like there is a softball under the skin stretching it. I called my surgeon and sometime next week I am probably doing to have a drain inserted guided by ultrasound to make sure it gets deep into the pocket where the fluid is collecting. I don’t know when it will happen, how long I will have that drain or how it will affect dance. It’s also just one step further towards needing surgery to correct the issue and close the pockets that have formed in my belly. Not much I can do, my body seems to be doing what it feels is necessary to heal and I just have to deal with the complications as they arise.
Until then, 1 week is done and another is coming up.