Two more lessons down, and that is it for this week for me. Yay, I made it!
Yesterday’s lesson was more trial and error and sorting through exercises, but it was mainly focused on rumba walks. This is a new exercise for me and is going to take some getting used to, but by the end of my lesson I think I had a pretty good understanding of what I needed to try to do.
Today’s lesson was the real milestone. We spent it focused on standard and trying to adjust my ‘new’ body to the right position.
We started by running through all my standard routines to give Boss and idea of what we are dealing with. I am not really sure what his thoughts were, except he said some things were still the same like pulling, but for me it was a whole new experience. I am not sure yet if it is a good or bad one. I guess I will stick with ‘neutral’ for now.
It wasn’t until today that I realized how much my size contributed to my concept of personal space. Now that the front of me is much smaller, the area that was my personal space is now a lot smaller and that is disjointing and jarring for me. I was very used to having my weight between me and my partner in standard to maintain my personal space, and now that is gone. My personal space is being well and regularly invaded.
I don’t know if Boss noticed, but I spent most of the lesson trying to convince myself not to step back and run away. He was too close and too much in ‘my’ space. I will say it is a great incentive though for me to keep myself stretched ‘out’ to gain some of my space back though. I can tell already that this is going to be a challenge for me and something I am going to have to personally work on to get over to keep moving forward. I guess I am just surprised to discover it is an issue for me.
My entire mind in standard is all over the place and I don’t know if I can even begin to explain some of the strange sensations I am dealing with and that my mind is trying to adjust to all at once (and not really successfully).
Aside from the personal space issue, I now have sensations of tightness and stretching through my core. I can feel how my hip is attached to the diagonal shoulder when I stretch which I couldn’t feel before. I can feel a stretch through my belly up to my chest that I couldn’t feel before. My mind is not quite sure how to process that information.
From the perspective of standard, it seems gaining these sensations will probably be a good thing in the long run–as they give me new frame of reference for where my body is spatially that I didn’t have before. I am a little eager to see how that progresses because it was one of the barriers I struggled with previously.
Regardless, I fully anticipate being sore through my upper body tomorrow from all the work we did tonight–and in a good way. I feel as though I really worked tonight, even though it was pretty exhausting.
On a small side note, it’s already really tricky trying to come back. I had 3 lessons this week, and granted they were 3 nights in a row, but I can already tell that I am pretty worn out. On top of dance though, it’s been a difficult and tricky week, so I am hoping a less busy week won’t tire me out so much. It’s a real balancing act to find the level of activity that gives me health benefits without tipping over the line to a level that completely exhausts me.
I see lots of trial and error in my future–standard, latin, and activity-wise.