5 more to go

Almost to the finish line–just one more week of treatments, then about 3 of continuing increasing side effects before things start getting better.

Something tells me it could be a long week, but I am trying to keep myself busy without overdoing it.

Unfortunately, my skin is starting to get bad.  It has blistered in some places and is peeling a little.  The good news so far is that it hasn’t opened and isn’t raw.  Fingers crossed it stays that way.  The nurses have me soaking my skin with saline twice a day and using the moisturizer 3+ times a day.  I have also been told to wear a bra as little as possible, so basically only for dance now.

I wear a chain that has a cross with my birthstone in the centre of it.  It’s not a religious symbol, but for me it is a symbol of faith–it reminds me to keep having faith in myself.  I almost never take it off, the exception, oddly enough, is when I compete because I can’t hide it under my costume. I chose a cross because I wear a uniform to work and a small cross is one of the few things we can wear under our uniform within regulations.

It may seem like a small thing, but it does have an impact on me and any time I have been faced with hard times I have a habit of playing with it to help me think.  I even sometimes find myself holding it when I sleep.  I have been wearing it for more than 10 years and usually have it tucked under my clothing.

I mention it because with the way the affect skin near my neck and collarbone is looking, it was suggested I consider not wearing it until the skin heals as it may be rubbing against the skin, especially when I sleep and wouldn’t notice it.  I don’t know why, but this distresses me a little.  It seems like a silly little thing, but somehow it’s a big deal.  Funny what affects us sometimes.

I imagine it will become necessary to stop wearing it sometime next week for at least 2-3 weeks, and I know when the time comes I will deal with it like I do everything else.  It will certainly feel strange, but I am sure my faith in myself won’t diminish any.  My neck will probably feel a little naked and I will probably become very aware of how much I play with it as I constantly instinctively search for it.  But I will adapt.

5 more to go.  Lesson tomorrow to continue working on my solo for the competition (assuming all of Boss’s hall issues are worked out–which he thinks they are).

Almost to the finish line (again!)!

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