Finally!! Less than double digits left to go for my radiation.
I cannot wait for radiation to be over, but I am glad that I only have 4 days next week, and then just 5 the week after.
I am finding radiation harder in a lot of ways than chemotherapy. When I was on chemo, I got a break between treatments, and even if I didn’t want to dance on a certain day, I knew that I would feel better after I danced.
That is not happening with radiation. I skipped most of practice last night, but I did do practice today. What I am finding though, is that with radiation my motivation, even while I am practicing is really waning. I practice, but I can’t say I feel better afterward. In fact, I have a hard time to get through all of my practice, and today after practice I slept for 2 hours right after.
I guess the main thing is that I did get through my practice, even though I didn’t want to, and that it was productive. I was able to incorporate many of the changes Boss asked me to do during my lessons, so that is a good thing.
We had a small hiccup with the competition, in that one of Boss’s students decided not to go, meaning higher costs for all, but in the end I decided to do it. I need something to focus on this fall too much not to. It won’t be much of a competition, but it will be something and in the end I miss competing and enjoy competing too much to pass it up. I am hopeful there will be other students there in my age and level. I am still waiting to here if medal testing will be possible.
Even with the lack in motivation, I remain optimistic for the next few weeks. If I have to give myself a break, I will. If I have to reduce my practice I will. But I have a strong goal and that is what I am aiming for.
Competitive round practice this weekend. We will see how that goes.