I am feeling better today, but I find myself giving a lot of thought about whether or not to compete in October. There seems to be a lot of ‘cons’ but I am having difficulties coming up with some ‘pros’ that benefit my dancing.
With a limited budget, it takes a lot of thought to decide to do any pro/am competition, and to do one, I want to make sure there is a definite benefit to my dancing and that the cost is worth the gain.
Boss is very enthusiastic about the idea of me doing this competition, but I am not sure if it’s because I stated it as one of my goals, or if he really does see value in doing it for me. He hasn’t really given me much to go on at this point as far as what he sees is the value of doing this competition and he may have the pieces I am missing and not able to see right now.
I know his intent is that I do just latin and no standard. I want to avoid doing a competition just for the sake of ‘doing’ a competition and that is what I feel like I am doing right now if I go. I will still likely be feeling the effects of the radiation even though it will be 1 month after I finish treatments and that is definitely a big thing to consider.
My last competition was back in January, and it was also a local competition, and it was 1 month after my first surgery and 1 week before I started chemo. I was still recovering from a post-op infection, so it wasn’t my strongest dancing. I competed in all 10 dances and did well, but there wasn’t a lot of other competitors. I was uncontested in all my single dances, had one other couple in my latin scholarships and 3 in standard. I don’t expect this competition will have many, if any, ladies for me to compete against, but there could be some surprises.
Even though it’s a local competition, it will still be necessary to stay 1 night in a hotel, due to the ferry schedule. I don’t want to be worried we might not make the ferry back while dancing at night, and it’s a long day to start with 1 ferry ride early in the morning. Again, I don’t expect to be on top of my game health-wise, so I can’t really push it too hard to do too much in one day. Hotel costs will have to be considered, but at least there will be 3 students going to help off-set those costs. The 3 of us will share one hotel room and Boss will have his own.
Another thing that is weighing on my mind is that many of the judges at this competition are the same as the one in January, and so I will be performing the same routines, again hampered by health concerns, for the same judges. I am not sure what else different I can show them.
I also would be doing only Latin, and that seems strange for me. Yes, standard would be hard to do with my health and really it hasn’t changed much since my last competition, unlike latin. It just seems like it would be only half a competition somehow if I do only latin.
I am really wondering if my money would be better spent towards my dresses and the competition I plan to do in the spring in the US.
On the other side of the coin, I do miss competing a lot. This would give me something to focus on between radiation and surgery besides just sitting around and freaking out about the results of my surgery. I wasn’t able to go to the last competition Boss went to with his students and I felt very left out and disappointed about that. I have made some improvements in my latin since the last competition, despite health concerns. It would be good to remind the local dance community that I am still here.
It’s a tough call. Boss should send me a proposal for entries with a cost estimate tonight and I have no idea what he is going to propose. I also have no idea what amount for a budget will be reasonable to me. It depends how much I am dancing Vs how much I am paying, and again, I am not sure what my goal should be for this competition that is different from the last one I did. I am hopeful that Boss will be able to give me something other than ‘just to put routines on the floor’. I have put these routines on the floor twice now in competition, and putting them on the floor was the goal of the last competition.
If there were different judges, or even more competition, probably I would feel very different about this competition. And right now, I think my health is also clouding the issue and making it more complicated than it needs to be.
Probably, I just need a really good discussion with Boss about this, to understand why he is so keen about going–whether it is because I said I wanted to focus on it, or if there is another benefit he sees to it.
Hopefully we can have that conversation soon–the deadline for entry is Sept 15th.