Short one today as I am pretty exhausted this week. Perhaps that is what is contributing to my mind-set. I promise to write more about this on the weekend though.
The first two weeks of August, Boss is going to be on vacation, so no lessons for me.
But thinking about that and radiation has had me pondering taking a longer break as well. At this point, I am going to see how I feel while Boss is on his vacation and then decide if I will start back when he does, or if I will take a longer break myself.
I am just not sure how dance will go during radiation. Because of the location, it is quite likely I won’t be able to wear a normal bra. I am not sure if I will be able to wear anything even remotely supportive. The idea is both mortifying and deeply difficult. A woman my size needs to wear something supportive outside of the house.
And then, how does one approach one’s ultra-conservative dance instructor about this issue?
I also think in general I may just need a break from lessons. There is a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, my health aside, and I may just need some time to really think things through to make sure I am in the best place to move forward.
I am tired and scared and anxious and I feel like a burden to those around me who have to support me through this. I am trying not to feel that way, but there are days I don’t succeed.
thankfully, there are some where I do. I just need more of them.