Apology Accepted

Interesting, yet brief conversation with Boss.

Last night I had had enough so I wrote a long email and got a lot of stuff off my chest I had been holding back, including the chemo caps, and a few other things-the main point being I was finding it extremely stressful to work with him because it seemed most of my actions seemed to be either offensive to him or he found them disrespectful–even though they were things others wouldn’t blink twice at.

I have been holding back a lot for a long time–almost since I was diagnosed and it was good to get it off my chest.  There are some cultural differences (Boss is Russian, and very conservative), and sometimes Boss is just strange about things (which I have come to accept in some things).  I was very blunt and to the point, but addressed things that had been on my mind building up for a while.

His response was simple, but effective–‘You’re right, I take your actions too personally sometimes, and I am sorry’.

Coming from Boss–this is a big deal.  He is not one to apologize easy, and even less so to admit someone else was right and he was wrong.  He also gave me a clue on what I need to do when these sorts of issues come up–remind him my decisions are not personally directed at him and rarely have much to do with him (even though dance does influence a lot of things for me).

We seem to have reached a compromise on the caps–I will wear them during lessons at least until after his vacation in August, but no other time, and he won’t try to hide me behind curtains.

I can understand his wanting me to wear them during lessons.  up close, my hair is still quite thin over the top and it is easy to see my scalp which can be a little jarring.  Another month and it won’t be so much of an issue.

We had a good lesson today reviewing my standard routines in preparation for the coach coming next week.  I am going to do 4 lessons with her and I can’t wait. The plan is to have her go through all 4 of my standard routines and dig into the details.  While there are some things like frame and technique we could work on, my health makes that sort of work not very effective right now.  So to do styling details makes perfect sense.

Boss also took a moment to recap my progress in the last year, which was a surprise.  A lot of work has been done, and in the end he said he felt I could do my silver test and have no problem passing it.  So, we are thinking about doing it this fall–between radiation and surgery.  Time will tell, but it looks optimistic.  It’s a lot of high praise from Boss and a good reminder of how far I have come–even with my health.

Hopefully it is nothing but moving forward from here–both in dance and in my pro/am relationship with Boss.  Even after more than 2 years working together there are still bugs to work out.

Next lesson is tomorrow and I hope I will be able to do all my practice without being sick.


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