Connection–Toddling on…

As I mentioned, I had a lesson last night.  Given it was Monday, which is my worse day for side effects and late in the evening, it took a little bit of planning, but I was able to get it done and it was really productive.

We started by running the routine through 4 times to see where the rough spots were, and this was pretty much the end of my energy.  That was ok though because we were able to work out two spots we hadn’t had a chance to really work through yet.  My next lesson is on Wednesday, and I should be stronger and better able to do more complete run-throughs.  We still don’t have the final part of the ending, but that will be sorted on Wednesday too.  I feel pretty good about where we are right now.

There was a couple practicing in the studio at the same time we were working yesterday, and after the lady in the couple mentioned she thought it looked really good and fun and then they said they are going to try to come on Saturday, even though they usually don’t go to social dances.  I was pretty happy to hear that 🙂

Getting to connection, I think I am on a bit of a break-through.  I still have to remind myself to focus and look up, and I am getting better about making eye contact with my instructor, but last night as we were working I noticed something different–the actress in me is coming out in my dancing.  Haven’t seen her is a while.

We were working through a couple different parts which require me to look out to the audience, but not reveal what is going to happen next until it happens (which makes things sharper) and suddenly I felt things just ‘click’ into place.  Like I said, the actress me sort of came out, took over and I found myself just doing things naturally that perhaps otherwise I would have felt awkward about and I was enjoying them 🙂

It was like being reminded of something I had long forgotten–that once upon a time I wasn’t quite so inhibited and that I did share my passion and expression–but in acting.  Welcome back long lost friend!

Once I re-found this part of me, everything I was doing made more sense–not just the eye contact, but also the styling and expression.  And, it wasn’t ‘over-the-top’ which is another fear of mine.  I am keeping things simple, which is very ‘me’.  I am not a flashy person by any stretch of the imagination, so doing something simply for ‘flash’ wouldn’t make sense…for me.

I am eager to see how this progresses through my lessons on Wednesday and Thursday, and most especially if everything goes ahead on Saturday.  I know for me, it is one thing to allow myself to open up around my instructor in the studio.  It’s another when there is a full audience there.

My instructor I trust after 2 and 1/2 years working together (and that has taken a long time, and getting sick also helped make that more necessary in a way), and I still am hesitant to perform for him.  I don’t even really like when I catch him watching me practice on my own.

But perhaps that’s a story for another post.  For today, no lessons, no practices.  Just a day off doing odd steps here and there in my kitchen 🙂

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